By LISA GRZYBOSKI
Courier-Post Staff
CHERRY HILL
At some point this weekend, Sabrina Spahr Lawrence will walk onto the lawn at the Unitarian Universalist Church in Cherry Hill and weep.
She'll find the empty combat boots tagged with her brother's name and the white-painted pine tombstone with his photograph and think about the man she desperately misses.
Lt. Col. John Charles Spahr, a Cherry Hill native, died May 2, 2005, after his Marine fighter jet collided with another jet in Iraq and crashed.
He was a son, a brother, a husband and a father who e-mailed his only daughter long, well-crafted letters filled with advice and explanations of why he was fighting in a war.
He will be one of 63 New Jersey military men and women honored in the "Eyes Wide Open" exhibit presented Saturday and Sunday by the American Friends Service Committee and the Unitarian Universalist Church on North Kings Highway.
This is the first time the exhibit has been in the tri-county area.
It is part of a national memorial the American Friends Service Committee -- a nonprofit social justice and peace organization founded by Quakers -- began in January 2004 in Chicago with 500 pairs of boots. The national exhibit was divided into state memorials for display in smaller communities after it became too large to tour because of the growing number of American military deaths, said Iris Bieri, a project assistant with AFSC.
As of July 19, the number of American casualties stands at 3,618, according to the U.S. Department of Defense.
On display will be 63 pairs of combat boots memorializing the military people killed in Iraq. They will sit alongside 80 pairs of shoes representing the thousands of Iraqi civilians who have died in the war.
The Delaware Valley Veterans for America will also erect 250 symbolic tombstones to commemorate a cross section of the American servicemen and women who have died in Iraq.
"In the world today, everybody is so busy that I don't think they remember we're in a war," said Lawrence in the dining room of her Medford home.
Photographs of Spahr in high school, in fighter jets, on family vacations and with his Marine buddies covered the table. On the television in the family room, a DVD ran of Spahr teaching pilots at the Navy's "Top Gun" fighter weapons school.
Before his death in the Iraq War, Spahr, 42, had bombed strategic targets in Baghdad, escaping enemy fire on more than one occasion, his sister said.
"I wish the memorial was there permanently to remind people of what's happening," Lawrence said. "Freedom, unfortunately the way the world is, it costs something."
It's been observed that less than 1 percent of the American population is directly engaged in the Iraq War, said David Kalkstein, a Cherry Hill resident and member of Delaware Valley Veterans for America.
"That means hardly anybody knows anybody who's involved in this thing," he said.
What the "Eyes Wide Open" and tombstone exhibits aim to do is show the human cost behind the war, Kalkstein said.
"That's what's so powerful. It focuses on and honors all life that's been lost in this war," said Karen Lawrence, of Collingswood, a member of the church sponsoring the memorial and one of the lead volunteers.
People will see the names and some information about the Iraqi civilians who lost their lives. They'll also see the names of their relative neighbors, people from places like Audubon, Maple Shade, West Deptford, Pennsauken and Lumberton.
And Gloucester City.
Cpl. Marc Ryan, a native of the waterfront town, died Nov. 15, 2004, in the Iraqi city of Ramadi when a suicide bomber hit the Humvee he was in, said Linda Ryan, his mother. Her son, a Marine, had already done two tours in Afghanistan and was on his third tour in Iraq when he was killed.
"You can't imagine what it's like to lose somebody in such a hostile place. It's heart wrenching," she said. "For the longest time, I and this family felt so alone. We didn't know anybody like us."
Now, the numbers of the dead keep growing and growing, said Ryan, a member of Gold Star Mothers, a support group for mothers of soldiers killed in the nation's wars.
"All of these mothers keep getting added to the list," she said.
One of her biggest fears is that people will forget her son's name, forget he was a Gloucester City kid who played high school football and followed his father and grandfather into the Marines out of patriotism and tradition.
"When people say he died because of the price of oil that really hurts," Linda Ryan said. "He died for what he thought was right."
"Eyes Wide Open" has been traveling around New Jersey since April 2006. It's visited at least 12 locations, most recently the Atlantic City boardwalk and the Hamilton Mall in Mays Landing.
"When you're looking at names from towns around you, the war becomes much more real and powerful," said Karen Lawrence. "People are welcome to respond to the exhibit in their own personal way. Our goal is to make a respectful space for reflection."
Reach Lisa Grzyboski at (856) 486-2931 or
lgrzyboski@courierpostonline.comhttp://www.courierpostonline.com/apps/pbcs.dll/article?AID=/20070720/NEWS01/707200373/1006
