Flood Relief

[sniper]

Coraki Appeal
2008 flood hit Coraki in the early hours of Friday 4th January 2008.
Victims were seen wandering around aimlessly, muttering 'Faaackinell'.
The Flood devastated the area causing approximately $30 worth of
damage. Three areas of historic burnt out cars were disturbed.Many
locals were woken well before their Centrelink cheques arrived. The
Coraki Times reported that hundreds of residents were confused and
bewildered and were still trying to come to terms with the fact that
something interesting had happened in Coraki
 
One resident - Tracy Maree Sharon Britney Madonna Smith, a 15-year-old
mother of 5 said 'It was such a shock, my little Chardonnay-Mercedes
came running into my bedroom crying. My youngest two Joachim and River
slept through it all.'
Apparently, looting, muggings and car crime  were unaffected and
carried on as normal.  The Australian Red Cross has so far managed to
ship 4,000 crates of Bacardi-Breezers to the area to help the stricken
locals.

Rescue workers are still searching through the flood debris and have
found large quantities of personal belongings, including Health Care
Cards, Jewellery from Kmart, and Bone China from Big W.
 
   HOW CAN YOU HELP?
 
This appeal is to raise money for food and clothing parcels for those
unfortunate enough to be caught up in this disaster. Clothing is most
sought after - items most needed include: flannelette shirts,  tight
blue jeans or spandex, singlets (blue & white) white sport socks, Ugg
boots and any other items usually sold in Priceline or The Reject
Shop.

Food parcels may be harder to come by, but are needed all the same.
Required foodstuffs urgently needed include: Microwave meals, Baked
beans, Ice cream, Chips, Fizzy drinks.
Donations of $15.00 will be taken to buy a packet of winny blue 25s
and a lighter  to calm the nerves of those affected.
 
   **Breaking news**
Coraki Uniting Church has cancelled their local 'Nativity Display'
due to their inability to find three wise men or a virgin. Please
don't forward this to anyone living in Coraki - oh, stuff it, they
won't be able to read it, anyway!