The Rules

[sniper]

1.   "I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy."

2.   "You know "that look" women get when they want sex? Me neither."

3.   "Having sex is like playing bridge. If you don't have a good partner, you'd better have a good hand."

4.   "Bisexuality immediately doubles your chances for a date on Saturday night."

5.   "There are a number of mechanical devices which increase sexual arousal, particularly in women. Chief among these is the Mercedes-Benz 380SL."

6.   "Sex at age 90 is like trying to shoot pool with a rope."

7.   "Sex is one of the nine reasons for reincarnation. The other eight are unimportant."

8.   "My girlfriend always laughs during sex ---no matter what she's reading."

9.   "Clinton lied. A man might forget where he parks or where he lives, but he never forgets oral sex, no matter how bad it is."

10.   "Ah, yes, divorce, from the Latin word meaning to rip out a man's genitals through his wallet."

11.   "Instead of getting married again, I'm going to find a woman I don't like and just give her a house."

12.   "See, the problem is that God gives men a brain and a penis, and only enough blood to run one at a time."